Rejection is a reality of life. You can never escape it or evade it. People have a right to decide who they want to have in their lives and also who they have no wish to be around.
Sometimes the people who choose to love you at one point still have the right to reject you at another. They don’t really owe you anything.
Love is something voluntary. You can’t force someone to love you, or compel them to treat you with respect and to appreciate you. If someone stops loving you – for whatever reason – you need to accept it and move on.
There is saying that goes, “when a person is in love nothing you do can keep them away and when they are not – nothing you say will make them stay.”
So many people waste their lives holding on to someone who doesn’t love or care about them and all they get out of it is a pile of misery.
I stop to wonder sometimes – how much would I have to hate myself to want to be with someone who brings me nothing but sadness?
How much do these men and women hate themselves to put up with some of the absolute crap that makes tabloid headlines every day?
If you love someone and they don’t love you – you need to start getting over them not start fighting over them.
Fighting over someone who doesn’t want you is rather absurd – what do you hope to gain at the end of it all? Say you win the fight, have you won the person’s heart back?
And I know some people think that when they fight over someone they love it will demonstrate how sincere and deep their feelings are for that man or woman.
The problem is not that those people don’t know how sincere and deep your feelings for them are – the problem is that they don’t give a damn about the sincerity or depth of your love for them.
They don’t care how much you love them.
They don’t care about the tears you cry.
They don’t care about the presents you buy.
The meals you cook.
The sweet smses you send; the little sacrifices you make and the gestures of affection you direct towards them.
And the reason they don’t care is that they don’t want any of it.
They don’t want you.
So all your little efforts will just keep getting rejected and you will keep getting hurt and puzzled wondering why this person is not having a change of heart. And after the hurt and bewilderment guess what most people do?
They try harder!
They just don’t get the message – they’ve been rejected. This person doesn’t love or want them anymore and all the person really wants is for you to pack your tears and affection and get away from them.
But that rarely happens. What often happens is people hold on to partners who’ve let go. And the reason why is – sometimes people actually believe that love can be gained through fighting, retained through fighting, sustained through fighting and that it lasts through more fighting.
Can anything be more preposterous than this sort of reasoning?
Then you hear these men or women lamenting in self-pity, “I love him/her so much and I don’t understand why he/she is doing this to me. Why? I do everything for him/her.”
The answer is a no-brainer – he/she doesn’t love you anymore and probably they’ve even told you but you chose not to hear it. Or they didn’t really come out and say it but they have been dropping hints and hoping you’d pick up on their change of heart.
Ultimately they all end up just ‘showing’ you how they feel by doing things they know will hurt you, make you desperate, make you miserable, make you cry, (and hopefully) make you pack up and leave – problem is – most people refuse to get to the leaving part.
They would rather stay hurt, desperate, miserable and crying than go anywhere just to keep proving how in love they are with the person who’s hurting them. How masochistic can a person get?
Rejection is a part of life, it hurts but guess what? It heals too.
At some point you need to love yourself enough to walk away from people who are no good for you. You can choose to stay with them but they will never change for you and you can’t make them change.
People do have the right to reject us in as much as we reserve the right to reject them.
Parting shot: Change isn’t easy. Changing the way you live means changing how you think. Changing how you think means changing what you believe about life. That’s hard. When we make our own misery, we sometimes cling to it even when we want so bad to change, because the misery is something we know. The misery is comfortable – Dean Koontz, One door away from heaven.