… a husband is like a chair

A husband is like a chair. The only way to be certain that it’s exclusively yours is to sit in it …perpetually!

I mean you can cherish your chair – love it with all your heart – but if you leave it unattended it has the potential of being noticed by those that are standing.

And you have no way of knowing – absolutely no way of knowing – what’s happening to your chair unless you have your butt firmly planted in it.

So you use your hard earned money and buy yourself a good chair or you can acquire yourself a husband (by whatever means or currency used to ‘purchase’ husbands).

Hell you even have a certified receipt (or marriage certificate) with your name boldly written on it clearly stating that you own this chair (or that this fellow is your legal matrimonial ‘property’) – you still have no way of knowing who’s gonna decide to just sit in your chair (or have a roll in the hay with that husband of yours).

Really, husbands remind me of chairs. If they’re left empty those who are standing don’t mind taking a seat. No, not at all.

.....should spouses come with such signs!

Even if you put a big sign written, RESERVED, some disrespecting “freelancer” is going to decide – she’s been standing too long… can’t wait to get a chair of her own… her back hurts from all the standing…and her feet are killing her so… f**k the sign…she’s gonna sit her arse down! (Excuse my French).

But husbands are not chairs to be owned. I think husbands are companions not property.

Husbands are not things you stake a claim on – like a chair. I think they are more like companions you choose to invite along on a journey you prefer not to travel alone.

There’s nothing to say, you won’t reach your destination if you go without one.

There’s nothing to say you cannot make the journey alone.

There’s even nothing to suggest that the texture of the journey will be enhanced; the loneliness lessened or the experience more enriched in the sharing – it’s just that many prefer to travel with them.

Husbands are not owned like chairs; they are companions choosing daily to walk in step with you and sometimes they may decide they’ve got better places to be than walking along life’s path in your company!

Maybe chairs are even better than husbands, you may insure them and if they get stolen or damaged – you might get a brand new replacement.

Irresistible looking chair...

But who is to say that when you have this brand new replacement chair; some greedy “sister” (who has her own shabby chair at home) is not going to covet what is yours and decide that your replacement chair was designed with her own butt cheeks in mind?

In the end, shouldn’t you have a clear understanding of the things you can claim to own?

Things like your dreams and your hopes?
Things like your strengths and the quirky imperfections that make you an interesting human being?
Things like your smile, your laughter and even your tears?
Things like your body, your heart and the integrity of your soul? Things like your memories – shared with friends or with companions – always made in moments of love, light and laughter?

I suppose I could be wrong, perhaps a husband isn’t that similar to a chair; he is not something to be ‘owned’ or something you bind to yourself with excessive sentiment.

If you must own anything – perhaps you might like to start by owning yourself?


14 thoughts on “… a husband is like a chair

  1. Sindiso says:

    wow!I like the balance of your article n ur thought pattern. While life is a journey u can walk alone bt the danger is wen u get tired the temptation is to grab the nearest desirable ‘chair’. Who do we blame wives,husbands or some gaal. Can we liken a wife to a chair also

  2. sharon says:

    true dat really but here you do come out as a real feminist because women can also be like chairs. Take an example of a man who takes good care of his wife and ensures that she is well dressed and made up only to have one dude decide to have her for himself.

    • itsdelta says:

      Hahaha!!! Okay Sharon, what is a ‘real’ feminist? Don’t answer that! Yes it’s true…I could have easily written about how a wife is like a chair; the same sentiments do apply BUT I have found it is often women who seem very preoccupied about getting married, and when they do get married, they start obsessing over fears of losing their husbands to other women.
      I guess I just wanted to redirect the focus a bit.

    • Mike says:

      oh Sharon, the well taken care of wife, who is well dressed might actually decide to give herself to to one other ‘dude’ besides her husband…lol

  3. re says:

    i like the article keep it up gal

  4. The 27th Comrade says:

    So, a wife is like a pair of buttocks?

    “Wives are like a pair of buttocks: nature cleverly gave us two, and both will give you the same s—”? Or something to that effect?

  5. Mike says:

    Hahaha…some light amusing reading but wonderfully insightful:)

  6. Lucy says:

    So Delta, who is sitting in or is it ‘on’ your chair while you are away? sorry, couldn’t help myself;

  7. Rev lm says:

    Interesting & funny

  8. Vimbai says:

    Yeh, ill own myself first. Thanks Delta,i suppose sitting on a chair would rather wait. Fed up with them really.

  9. tendo says:

    chairs 4 real? love the style you write. seriously, how can i stand simply because there is a ‘reserved’ sign on a chair and no one is coming to sit? i will sit my butt cheeks, damn right, i will. but taking that chair along my journey, no ways, too cumbersome, it will stay put. hey chairs sit in one place unless otherwise moved? lol. who wants a chair when i can walk faster n lighter to get to my destination whereupon i shall get a chair i can appreciate. (pls note: i will be too tired to notice if it’s hard, so long it’s a chair.) roflmao

  10. Wait a minute. which part of a chair represents a husband’s heart: the seat base, the armrest, the backrest, the legs, or the loose cushion. obviously the softest part: the cushion. and thats the only part that is loose. anyhow, its still a chair even without a cushion. so ladies- keep it!

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