I have a country to lose


Someone once said,

The tragedy of Zimbabwe today is that its people have lost the capacity to imagine a better future

The sentiment haunted me for a long while. My initial reaction was denial. I wanted to argue that this was a falsehood.

I wanted to say, “I have always imagined a better future” but I realized that saying that would be a half truth.

Because while it’s true that I have always imagined a better future (being the incurable dreamer that I am)… its truer to state that I have always imagined a better future for myself.

Imagining a better future for my country though, is an entirely different matter.

I can not in all earnestness say that I have ever applied myself to imagining a better future for Zimbabwe.

Partly because I am afraid to hope.

Partly because I am afraid to care too much about it because caring would make me obligated to act.

Caring would make me obligated to do something. Even a small thing.
Partly because I didn’t know what to do.

And even when others suggested what could be done and their suggestions were great – I let myself be smothered by the futility of trying to change things.

Despair is easier than hope. Far more comfortable and far less risky.

But I have done a bit of traveling and regardless of where I set my foot – I could never shake off that intuitive sense that I don’t really ‘belong’.

The irony has never escaped me that I am so much more protective of my country when I am outside its borders than when I am within.

From within, challenges facing Zimbabwe are overwhelming, seemingly insurmountable and the tyrannical politics that permeate into every aspect of our lives appear immutable.

But this is home. If I leave, where will I go?

If I have the courage to pack up everything and leave, shouldn’t I at least spare a little bit of that courage to stay and TRY.

Try to make a difference. No matter how small. Perhaps when added to all the other small differences others have made – my small contribution will amount to something BIG.

I don’t know. But I am prepared to try. I have a country to lose.

And that should give me sufficient reason to begin imagining a better future. How tragic it would be if having lost everything we’ve lost over the years ….we lose the capacity to imagine or hope for something better in this Zimbabwe?

Postscript
I wrote this article in the dead of night as I was reflecting on a work assignment. Although I often try to leave my work at the office, I usually carry it home.

But I have never been driven to engage in some soul searching over a work assignment. It’s gotten to a point where this is not just a job.

It’s something that matters to me and that resonates deeply with my love for my country (despite its myriad flaws).

I am taking part in a campaign for free and fair elections known as ‘Feya Feya’ and I wrote this blog to invite you to join me in that journey (because I think of it as such now).

You can begin by taking part in my Feya Feya #QuotableQuotes mini-project where I am soliciting the views of Zimbabweans on what their aspirations are in terms of holding free and fair and peaceful elections or just generally the political environment they hope will prevail before, during and after the elections.

So do a small thing; give me a quotable quote…..

I am hoping you will all tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a cousin🙂

I need feya feya elections because without free and fair elections – I have a country to lose. What does feya feya mean to you?

To take part or find out how you can be involved (in whatever small way):
Follow FF on Twitter – @feyaXfeya
Like the FB page called – Let’s make it Feyafeya (Launching officially tomorrow 27/06 but you’re welcome to ‘like’ it in advance)
Email FF on – feyafeyazim@gmail.com
Link up on whatsapp via – +263778991553

6 thoughts on “I have a country to lose

  1. bloggomobi says:

    Imagining a better future is hard especially if there is no shona/ndebele word for future… its hard for us describe what we have no words for in our own language, we talk of a better tomorrow not a better future…so tomorrow is marginally different from today and today looks like yesterday and after a while we are still in the same position we where 10 years ago.

    I also think there is something in our name Zimbabwe that makes us very resilient which is both a blessing and a curse…we can endure hardships that we neeed not endure and because we can we try and “wait out” the hardships in a zen like fashion knowing fully well that when all is said and done what ever season we are going through…”it shall pass”…a silent revolution, sort of like Napoleon’s problem solving techniques where he ignored letters because he found out that the problems often solved themselves without his intervention. We have mastered the concept of “they do thega” (zvinoita zvega), because it’s be drilled into us that the guy that stands out, the guy that becomes a hero…never lives long enough to see his grand children.

    We need to do more than try, we need to believe in our own and cultivate that self efficacy that makes all nations great, we have tolerated a mediocre existance for too long, we allowed chaos to reign and watched as if we where spectators watching Gladiators in an arena………you got me thinking there D.

  2. Thank You dade for this one, every now and then, you need that motivation to keep on giving your contribution to the future of the city. I resonate immensely with this article. Thank you.

  3. […] A Zimbabwean blogger shares her fears of losing a country she loves if the next elections are not feya feya. Read more about it from her blogpost titled I have a country to lose. […]

  4. eddy says:

    Mind stimulating; like one preacher always say; “ane nzeve dzekunzwa ngaanzwe”

  5. Reblogged this on UntitledChronicles and commented:
    What happends when we are inactive citizens and just let things pass by…

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